“You’re Killing me Smalls!”...or lack thereof

This post was found in the Daily Universe the Wednesday following the "white-out".

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to inform the powers that be of an egregious travesty; namely, the overabundance of XL and 2XL t-shirts at the BYU vs. Air Force basketball game. I find this disturbing on several levels.

First and foremost, the large amount of XL and 2XL shirts and the scarcity of medium and small sizes are not representative of the student population. I arrived at the game early in order to support the greatest basketball team on Earth only to find myriads of students scavenging the stands in search of the one small or the one medium shirt. If we are going to spend the money to buy shirts for the students, let’s make sure that the shirts fit.

Second, in the Lord’s doctrine and covenants, we read that we are to seek moderation in all things. Can we classify XL and 2XL shirts as moderate? No, we should be purchasing medium shirts, yea even extra medium. Only in this way can we truly draw close unto the Lord.

Lastly, I am sure that those shirts were made by underage, overworked, underpaid, and overstressed children in Haiti. By ordering so many XL shirts, we are adding work to those poor children who will have to sew the extra long seams of these huge shirts.

Sincerely,

Steven Murdock

Thomas Jones

Brooke Huddleston

& the rest of the medium and small-sized student body